The Potter's Wheel
by TolkienAddict
Summary: Sauron, the protagonist repents in his dark solitude at the depths of the world. Then he encounters His Wisdom, one of the thoughts of Eru. He questions Eru on predestination and free will.


Context: Sauron, the protagonist repents in his dark solitude at the depths of the world. Then he encounters His Wisdom(One of the thoughts of Eru). He questions Eru on predestination and free will. Inspired by Milton's epic poem and the book of Sirach.

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The Potter's Wheel : The setting  


He had fled from his master after his failure at _Tol-in-Gaurhoth. _He could not bring himself to face Morgoth Bauglir, such was his failure at the mere hands of a maiden and a hound. So he thought and continued to brood from the depths of the world.

News reached his ears about the arrival of forces of the Valar. But he did not stir. He was in denial. If he could not bring himself to face Morgoth, then how could he face Aulë a gentle yet a stern Vala who was once his teacher. No, he could not and he would not. Even as he dwelt in these thoughts, his mind took him to the days of laughter at the Timeless Halls before the singing of the music.

Once he too was an innocent, uncorrupted by any pride or greed or jealousy. He had not known Melkor then. He was just one of the Ainur, a child of Eru. He was carefree then, and knew unbound joy. He played his music so well and only with one purpose, to please Ilúvatar. He had met, in those halls, Aulë who would later become a Vala. They had become fast friends. Aulë had shared his knowledge with him, and he had delighted in that comradery when they talked of many things. Then at an accursed moment he had met Melkor, the most powerful of His children. Melkor had allured him with promises of greater knowledge and glory with his friendship. Why did he have to meet the accursed one and make himself cursed? Why? He questioned himself again and again, as he kept to himself in the depths of the mountains.

Then he remembered that sweet and gentle voice, at times stern. He had not heard that voice in ages. He had not heard that voice since he listened to Melkor. That sweet and gentle voice, easily ired by foolery; he had not heard it in ages. Why could not he hear that voice? Had he done something absurd? Aye, he must have, he concluded. And his pride crumbled in that acceptance.

War raged in the world above him, even then he kept to himself. He heard of the siege of Angband, still he could not bring himself to stir. He was once the Lieutenant of Morgoth, terrible and cruel, hated and feared by his foes. He thought, he was loyal once to Morgoth until he failed; and before that too, he was loyal, but to Aulë until he failed. He failed the first time because of his fall from grace due to the dark allurements of Morgoth with fake promises of knowledge and glory, and power over Eruhíni. Then he failed again in Morgoth's quest. Why? If he had not listened to Melkor and had never left the Halls, he would never have failed. Then sorrow came to him like water from a broken dam. He lamented for all that he lost in his dark solitude.

While he repented for all that he had done, he heard a faint sound of a wheel turning. He looked up and saw haze all over instead of the darkness that surrounded him. He focused, on the source of light. He had not done this in ages, since he left the Halls. Then he saw a figure of light working on a potter's wheel. The figure was molding a vase. Then he heard that voice he longed to hear for ages, that voice which had once answered all his questions.

"Come to me, child."

He slowly approached the figure working on the wheel. The figure did not look up until the vase was finely molded. The figure of light stopped the spinning wheel and looked up straight at his face. He was startled at the likeness of the figure to Eruhíni.

"O child, Why do you lament?", the figure asked.

"I have lost all that I had.", he replied.

"Do you not know, that all once was lost can be regained if you turn away from your current path?"

He remained silent and pondered the words and he felt sure of who was before him. Then he asked, "Did you know I was to walk this path?"

"Aye, I knew. Why did you turn away from me?", there was a tinge of sorrow in that once beloved voice.

"I never turned away from you. You are the one who stopped answering me.", he responded as if the figure before him was the one responsible.

"I never ceased answering you child. You were unable to hear me.", replied the figure.

He further pondered on these words and watched the figure as the wheel started to spin again. The figure remolded the finely shaped vase to a wider pot.

He kneeled before the figure and said what he wanted to say from the beginning, "I know who you are. You are His Wisdom, aren't you?"

"Aye child, that I am." He felt relief wash over his soul when he felt His Wisdom smile down at him.

"Please do not leave me again.", he pleaded.

"O child, I am always there for those who seek me in earnest."

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Next chapter: The argument 


End file.
